Who I Used To Be

I used to question God’s love and presence in my life. I used to believe that if you are kind, people will abuse you. I used to carry heartache, pain and hatred in my heart. I used to believe that vengeance will be able to make me feel better. But the truth is, it will destroy me more. It will add an insult to my injury and will fuel the fire.
I was lost and weary but God has found me and He loved me in my most unlovable state. He made me realize that I am not a label, I am not my job, I am not my status. I am pure creative energy. I am a miracle. I am enough. The state of joy, bliss and happiness is our true state, our natural state. Hate, pain and suffering are caused by our own thinking and by the society’s norm as to what a person should be or what a perfect life looks like.

“Why me?”
A victim will use this line of thinking to justify their beliefs in thinking that the world is against them. The world is against nobody. It is you against you. I believe I experienced some challenges in life because I needed to. That in fact, the things I once considered to be the worst things that have ever happened to me are now actually my biggest gifts. These lessons are what have shaped me today. It is because of these events that I can listen to people and say I understand you, I feel you, I know because I actually do.

“When will the pain end?”

The pain will only end when you decide to change your thinking. Its a choice we all have. You are telling the story of your life, you have the power to tell a different one. You choose everyday how you interpret other’s actions, how you interpret events and how you interpret the world around you. God has written your story even before you were born. No one can dictate who you should be because He knows you better than anyone else.

If there is someone right now sitting there with pain in their heart, with suffering in their mind and doesn’t know when it will end. I’m here to tell you, pain doesn’t last forever. No matter how bad it gets or it has been, it can change around. Right here, right now.

Do you know how I know? because I was you.

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