Sometimes a Part of You has to Die so that You Can Begin Again

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Maybe you lost someone you never expected you would lose. Maybe you lost yourself that’s even worse when you have bad days that just won’t let up. Just hope that you will look in the mirror and remind yourself of what you are and what you are not.

You are not your mistakes.You are not damaged goods or money from your failed explorations. You are not the opinion of someone who doesn’t know you. You are a product of the lessons that you’ve learned. You are wiser because you went through something terrible and you are the person who survived a bunch of rainstorms and kept walking. I now believe that pain makes you stronger and now I believe that walking through a lot of rainstorms gets you clean.

Kita Kita Movie Review

Kita-Kita

Today, as I always do, I watched a movie alone. Other people might think it’s weird but I know my fellow introverts can relate to the joy of being alone rather than being with someone else. I am a person who would do whatever I want to do which often results to being insensitive with what others want that’s why I often want to go shopping, watching movie and traveling alone. It keeps me from having the need to be conscious with other people.

Earlier, I have witnessed a stupendous Filipino movie. It is far too different from the other movies I’ve seen. It opened the eyes of the viewer and changed everyone’s perspective about love.

Sometimes, I can’t blame someone for being superficial. They are like that because the media is a very powerful influence which normally tells people that in order for you to be loved, you have to look good, or, true love is only for two good-looking people. If you don’t look good, you need to be rich so that you can be loved.

This movie has got loads of positive feedbacks from the viewers. However, if it isn’t a movie show, in reality, when others see two people sweetly walking and the other person doesn’t look good, the first impression is, the person must be rich that’s why the girl liked him. I have witnessed a lot of people who love to make comments about the lives of other people even though they don’t really know the depth of their relationship. 

Truth is, you don’t get to see it entirely. Unless, they’ll sit down with you and tell you their story or it gets launched on a movie theatre. But they don’t owe you an explanation. 

I actually got mixed of emotion after watching the movie. I was happy and upset. Happy because it is too far away from what our society is telling us. It is too far away from the dogma and it somehow has broke them down. I was upset for the fact that some people are being hypocrite for loving this kind of movie but when they see people in the same situation in reality, they’ve got a lot of misjudgments about them. 

The movie has taught me that if you like the person because they are handsome or pretty, it isn’t love. If you like them because they’re famous, it isn’t love, if you like them because they are talented or intelligent, it isn’t love at all.

Love is an extraordinary and an unexplainable feeling for an ordinary person who makes your everyday life special. Love is when you are excited to wake up everyday because you are looking forward to spend the rest of your day with him/her. Love is seeing beauty beyond imperfections.

As my most favorite line goes, “When you fall for their personality, everything about them becomes beautiful.”

Choices- Why Does it Matter? 

1.) DOING WHAT IS WRONG IS EASY,  DOING WHAT IS RIGHT WILL ALWAYS BE DIFFICULT

A lot of people would rather choose to do the wrong things.  Why would we even care about doing what is right when everyone is doing what’s wrong? When someone wrongs you, holding a grudge and taking revenge at them is the easiest, forgiving them is the hardest. The reason why the world is full of malignity is because everyone is choosing to do what’s wrong. Everyone is following the crowd. No one dares to take a stand and choose the road less traveled because they are afraid of being alone. When someone is doing the wrong thing, they’re clearing their conscience with the thought of knowing someone or other people who is doing the same thing. But the question is, “Did it make their life easier? Did it make their conscience pure? Were they able to live a good life?” The result will always matter. I honestly think that it would be better to do the right things even if it’s hard and end up with a better result rather than doing the wrong things which is easy, but the resolution is temporary.

 

2.) TRUST IN HIM

When you’ve lost something or someone, better things are on the way. Trust God in everything. He wants you to let go of what you currently have because He prepares something better for you. Let go of what is making you sad or hurt because that’s not what He wants and you don’t deserve it. Often times, we question His purpose and we ask Him why. But sooner, we’ll get the picture of it. Let go of what is in your hand because so long as you are not letting it go, you won’t be able to receive His blessing. Let go of what isn’t helping your soul smile and grow. Once you got the courage to let go, you will realize that you really did not lose something. He always has something better for you and everything works according to His plan.

– For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)

3.) LOOK AT THE POSITIVE SIDE

Someone once told me when I was in deep pain that there is something good about pain, it defines strength. I believe it’s true. You’ll never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only option you’ve got. Experience is the best teacher in life. It teaches you the things that you are refusing to learn. You’ll keep on experiencing it over and over again until you get to learn the things that you have to learn.

4.) HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE

The people who still can smile and laugh amidst the predicaments they’re facing are not hypocrite. They just chose to be happy and trust God with the result. Often times in prayer, people tell Him their burdens and afterwards they choose to worry about it. When you cast all your burdens upon Him, He will give you rest. Worrying is a sign of not having enough faith and trust that whatever you are facing will end up with a good result. The end will always justify the mean. You may not see it clearly yet but if you trust God with the result, worrying won’t be in your element.

5.) YOU WILL GROW OLD

When you are already old, you will spend your whole life looking back and reminiscing. And when you look back, whatever you are doing now will either be something that will make you smile or regret for the rest of your life. Did you live in selfishness or in generosity? Did you live in truth or lie? Were you the reason for someone’s happiness or distress? Did you abandon or help someone? Are you the reason for someone to live or the reason why someone died? Did you save a dying person or did you kill someone? Your choices matter and everything else matters. Maybe not today but you can never escape. Everything becomes wear and tear. After all, the moment that you die and leave this earth, you can never bring your wealth, your friends and family can’t accompany you anymore. You have nothing else with you but your soul alone.

God’s Message and Healing

I’ve been stressed these past days caused by some personal and office issues. Personally, some of my relatives have misjudged me because of stories that are not credible coming from an unreliable person. This kind of experience had made me cry. It made me cry not just because I was hurt. I cried because I don’t have any other outlet to let my anger out. I was angry for the fact that my side wasn’t heard. I was angry for the fact that I am being judged by the people I love. I was angry, I was hurting and some issues at work had added more injury to it which was really piquing. 

Yesterday, I knelt down to God and prayed. I cried it all out to Him. And how mighty and wonderful He is because He didn’t just give an answer to my prayer but He has also healed me.

That was when I realized and understood why sometimes you have to get hurt emotionally so that next time, you would know how to be tough. Sometimes, the people you love would hurt you for you to know that they are not perfect and no one has it 100%. We are all a work in progress and God isn’t finished with us yet. 

I have learned that cutting people out of my life is never a solution because it will break me more. I have learned more about my imperfections and that God is working on it and inspite of all my shortcomings, His love and strength is so perfect which is more than enough for me. 

I thank God when I was treated unfairly, because I have come to know the value of justice. I thank Him for suffering betrayal because it has taught me the importance of loyalty. I thank Him for being lonely from time to time because it keeps me from taking my friends for granted.

I thank Him for the  bad luck, because it made me conscious of the role of chance in life and I have understood that my success is not completely deserved and that the failure of others is not completely deserved either.

I thank Him for the pain because it made me compassionate. 

 And whether I benefit from them or not will depend upon my ability to see the message in my misfortunes.

Who I Used To Be

I used to question God’s love and presence in my life. I used to believe that if you are kind, people will abuse you. I used to carry heartache, pain and hatred in my heart. I used to believe that vengeance will be able to make me feel better. But the truth is, it will destroy me more. It will add an insult to my injury and will fuel the fire.
I was lost and weary but God has found me and He loved me in my most unlovable state. He made me realize that I am not a label, I am not my job, I am not my status. I am pure creative energy. I am a miracle. I am enough. The state of joy, bliss and happiness is our true state, our natural state. Hate, pain and suffering are caused by our own thinking and by the society’s norm as to what a person should be or what a perfect life looks like.

“Why me?”
A victim will use this line of thinking to justify their beliefs in thinking that the world is against them. The world is against nobody. It is you against you. I believe I experienced some challenges in life because I needed to. That in fact, the things I once considered to be the worst things that have ever happened to me are now actually my biggest gifts. These lessons are what have shaped me today. It is because of these events that I can listen to people and say I understand you, I feel you, I know because I actually do.

“When will the pain end?”

The pain will only end when you decide to change your thinking. Its a choice we all have. You are telling the story of your life, you have the power to tell a different one. You choose everyday how you interpret other’s actions, how you interpret events and how you interpret the world around you. God has written your story even before you were born. No one can dictate who you should be because He knows you better than anyone else.

If there is someone right now sitting there with pain in their heart, with suffering in their mind and doesn’t know when it will end. I’m here to tell you, pain doesn’t last forever. No matter how bad it gets or it has been, it can change around. Right here, right now.

Do you know how I know? because I was you.

We Have Our Own Journey

Hello, I’m back. I’ve been writing through my facebook wall these past few days because I wasn’t able to access my wordpress account recently. Today, I want to express my thoughts about our individual journey.

We are all a product of our experiences and I believe that we are all a work in progress. Things that happened in the past was meant to happen to shape us and to be the person that we are today.
The sad thing about it is that, most of the people who tend to judge you are the people close to you. There will always be a lot of people who would keep on reminding you about your past and would try to convince you that you are not worthy. But the thing is, they are judging a person that they no longer know.

It seems so sad to think and realize that the people who you thought would always be there for you and won’t let you down are the ones who would. The people who you thought are the one who would love and accept your imperfections aren’t the one. The people who are supposed to know you better and what you have been through don’t have a single idea about it.

It seems so sad when people talk about religion but they promote judgment and persecution instead of love and kindness. But you can never judge someone just because the person isn’t like you. And we can never judge someone because we don’t know their own pain and renunciation. It’s one thing to know that you are on the right path and it’s another thing to think that yours is the only path.

I am not a perfect person, I have made a lot of mistakes and I have hurt some people and even the people I dearly love. But when I think about humanity, how many times do we often see the goodness in someone more than the bad? How many times do we often think about being better than who we were before more than being better than other people?

 

Life is a journey, no one is ahead of you or behind you. No one can tell you who you should be or what you should be. Nobody can dictate the path that you should take because only God knows where you are supposed to be.

Love and Closure

Sometimes closure arrives years later. Long after you stopped searching for it. You’re just sitting there, laughing this laugh that is unapologetically yours. As it trails off, the corners of your mouth hugs your face and it hits you, “I’m happy”. It’s just like that. With no fanfare or epiphany. Suddenly you are grateful for goodbyes that carried you to this moment; to the space you are now holding.

Though I understand why we get stuck sometimes. Hearts are stubborn. They sink their hooks into bad habits that look like people and dreams. But look at how much we give of ourselves. Our most precious gifts handed over to another who may, or may not value them as much as we do. Have you ever heard someone fall asleep? Or watched someone break down? There’s so few people in this world that you can share breakfast at midnight with, or that can completely forgive you. The people that get you to believe it’s actually all worth it, and don’t flinch when you look them in the eyes, never waver, and make a bed more comfortable. So when you find them, you, in a way, find yourself. And when you lose them, you, in a way, lose yourself. But know this: you will always be too much for anyone not enough. Somewhere out there is someone who’ll bring pieces of you home. And you’ll realize that losing everything is the only way to figure out what’s worth finding.

Because love isn’t easy and problem free. Everyone has a difficult past and scars in their heart. Just like how love is as beautiful as the sunrise, it is also as painful as the sunset.