Are You Competitive or Insecure?

There’s nothing wrong with being competitive. However, there is a thin line between being competitive and being envy or insecure. A competitive’s mindset is that they will do their best in whatever they do and they are going to focus on improving themselves. They acknowledge the things that they don’t  know yet and they are willing to be corrected because they know that they still have to grow and they don’t know everything.

 While the mindset of a person who is envy and insecure is far too different. They always look at how other people work and they’ll look for something to bash about them. They will try to look for their imperfections and will do their best to let them notice it so that the person would feel bad about themselves or they can make themselves look better than them. 

Are you competing with your old self or are you competing with someone else? Are you competitive or insecure? You know the answer.

When You’re In Pain

As cliche’ as it sounds, pain is inevitable and it is always a part of life. There are different reasons why we feel the pain. The truth is, no one is exempted to feel it. Regardless if you are a good person or you haven’t hurt someone else means you won’t get hurt too. 

The question is, “Which kind of pain are you choosing?” Is it the pain of holding on or letting go? The pain of dwelling in the past or moving on? Is it the pain that gets you stuck in your old self or the pain that makes you grow and become a better version of yourself? Are you using the pain to make yourself bitter or are you taking it as a challenge to make yourself better?

I know it’s never easy. Especially if it the wound is fresh and you feel like you don’t want to get up from bed because the pain is excruciating and you have no one to tell it to. You are emotionally gashed and you just can’t focus on everything. But even if you feel that no one cares, the truth is, God cares. He knows what you are going through and He is always ready to listen to your frustrations and heartaches. We just often put God in a box and we try to tell Him how to do it but God uses an orthodox method. It doesn’t always makes sense to us but in the end, the result is always beautiful. God always answers prayer not just in a way that you expect it to be.

Are you open to the method that God is going to do to heal you? 

Pain is always a part of life but if God is with us, nothing can destroy us. God can turn every pain, every trial and every persecutions in your life into something beautiful that you can nev

er imagine just trust Him and let Him do it His way.

When You Can’t Move On From Someone Who Hurt You

Do you really want to go back to the person who has hurt you and left you? Do you really want to stay in a relationship that is making you feel unworthy? 

Sometimes, we are blinded by the overwhelming feeling that we have for someone that makes us overlook our current reality. We tend to create a character of the person we love in our mind even though we know that they are not really like that.

I was supposed have this article entitled, “When You Can’t Move On” But I have added the lines -From Someone Who Hurt You. The reason why is because there are two reasons why people can’t move on. First, it is because the person has been deeply hurt. And the second is because the person has hurt someone so much and they can’t find a way to remove the guilt out of their heart. Both are actually hard, but it is harder to move on when you are the one who is carrying the guilt. You might have been hurt in the past but staying stuck on it won’t heal you. You can’t expect your wounds to heal if you are not willing to have it mended. You can’t expect your wounds to heal if you are expecting that it can be fixed by the person who hurt you. 

Physically, if we get hurt from something, we turn away and we try not to get close to that thing again. This is how we should respond emotionally too. But this is really hard and I am not an exemption. I know how hard it is. But as a life’s lesson, we’ll keep on experiencing the same thing over and over again until we learn from it. Moving on is not really easy but if you have been crying for so many times more than being happy, then you have to ask yourself, do you want to be stuck in the past or the present moment when the only possibility is that you will get hurt and cry? Or do you want to move on and let go of your pain and welcome the hundred possibilities in life? 

There is no guarantee that if you move on and let go, you will never get hurt again. But there is a guarantee that if you move on, there will be a hundred possibilities of being happy and free. You may gey hurt for one more time, but at least you have already taken the first step in moving on, you can stand up, move forward and keep on going with the hundred possibilities.

When Things Didn’t Go The Way You Planned

Have you ever felt disappointed because things did not turn out the way you wanted? Have you ever had your heart broken and questioned everything about your life because it seems like it’s going nowhere and you just don’t know where you’re heading next? 

Like every other people, I had questioned my life’s purpose too. Writing and cooking has always been my passion and I have always been dreaming of traveling around the world. Year 2015, my mom has enrolled me in a culinary school that offers employment on a cruise ship after I finish the course. On my last day in school, I was very excited because finally, I am already close in reaching my dream.

Few months after, I was on the verge of fixing the documents I needed so that I would be able to start working on a cruise ship. However, without any plans, I got pregnant. I have already cut ties with my son’s father and I didn’t even know how to tell it to my family. Surely, they’ll get disappointed but more than getting disappointed, they’ll get hurt too. Nobody knows how it crushed my heart after realizing it. Nobody knows how many tears I’ve cried because I didn’t know what to do. Nobody knows how much I felt bad for my baby because I fear that I may not be a good mother to him. Nobody knows that behind my perky smiles and laughter, my heart is excruciatingly in pain. The kind of feeling that you can’t talk to anyone because you know that their eyes and mouth will only speak judgment and persecutions. The kind of feeling that you are all alone and you have no one to turn to. The kind of feeling that you think you can’t go on anymore and no one understands you because all they see is your mistake.

I was trying my best not to affect the child inside me. There might have been some gaffes that I have done, but I have never ever seen my son as a mistake. I had never seen him as a burden and it had never crossed my mind to abort him because I know that God gave him to me. God knows that my son is all I needed to be whole again. To heal my broken spirit. To be closer to Him again because I got lost and was so far away to Him. God knows what I need and when I needed it. It may be a surprise to me but not to God. Sometimes, things doesn’t go the way we planned because God has a better plan and God has a better purpose. Sometimes, we are so frustrated with God’s answer to our prayer but He sees the first and the last. God is too wise to be mistaken. He is too good to be unkind. He knows what you will be going through even before it happens to you. The struggles that are breaking our heart may blind us from the truth but He knows what’s best for us. 

I am not perfect because I am still a work in progress. I have flaws and imperfections but I now understand that each and every trial that we are experiencing are God’s way of molding us.

I might have failed in the past, I got stumbled with my face first out of the dirt but I will always stand tall and I will carry on. In fact, I have now redefined failure. Failure is not being able to to face your responsibility because of your selfishness. Failure is being defeated by fears when unexpected things happen in your life. Failure is choosing your dreams over your child. Failure is not taking the risk in the unknown. Failure is thinking that abortion does not equate to murdering your own child. Failure is not being brave in facing your trials alone. Failure is shifting the blame to someone else when something bad happens to you. Failure is not standing up after you fall. 

Things may not turn out the way I planned, but I have a little boy lying next to my chest who sees me as his world and looks at me like I am the perfect mother in the world. He has healed me in ways I never knew I needed healing. He is more than my dreams. And if I have that, I can never fail.

When You Think Life is Unfair

As of this writing, I am 25 years old and turning 26 on the 21st of April. I am single and a mother of a one year old child. Everytime I get to meet new friends and colleagues, they would always tell me in awe that life is so unfair because my body and face doesn’t show that I am already a mother. 

I always get surprised hearing the phrase, “Life is so unfair.” And hearing everyone tell me that I am so lucky to have maintained my body shape after the pregnancy because if they only knew what I had gone through, they wouldn’t want to be in my shoe. I strongly believe that we are all a product of our experiences. Sometimes, we think that other people are having it easy and we tend to get jealous at them thinking that maybe we could be happier if we were them. But the truth is, everyone is struggling and everyone is carrying a baggage just like you do. We just carry different baggages in life and it just depends on how you want to carry those baggages, how long do you want to carry them and when are you willing to put them down.

The truth is, everyone in the world gets hurt. Nobody has it easy and the world is not obliged to protect you from pain. But you have to move on and you have to choose to love and forgive. Because if you don’t, it’s more like choosing not to live anymore. No one is obliged to make you happy and no one is liable for your unhappiness either. Our happiness and unhappiness are the result of our choices. If you choose to stay in a toxic relationship which makes you unhappy, it is not your partner’s fault why you are unhappy. It is a result of your choice to stay on it. If you are happy inlove with someone, it is not the person who is making you happy. It is a result of your choice to keep the person in your life that is making you happy. Everything we feel and everything we have is a result of our choices. Life is never easy and we can never have a perfect life. Nobody has a perfect life, nobody is perfect and nobody is perfectly happy in all aspects of their life. Happiness is a choice even though you know that life isn’t perfect. Yes, it isn’t easy as ABC to forgive someone and put down the baggages. Yes, sorry can never erase everything you’ve gone through especially if you didn’t only get hurt. It is so hard to forgive when your life has been messed up and your dreams had crushed down because of what happened. But sometimes we have to realize that it might have happened because of what someone did, but you had the choice if you are going to let them do it to you. You have to let go of the baggages that are pulling you backwards. You have to forgive and continue to love. Continue to love someone else who deserves your love. Yet you still have a choice to let someone who did you wrong

 to stay in your life after all the mishaps and if they make your life miserable again, never put the blame on them. Because you have a choice not to let them in.

We have to realize that most of our pain are self-inflicted. The truth is, life is simple. It is our choices that are making it complicated.

When Everything Seems Wrong

One day there was a king who got his finger wounded while he was out in the forest with his private doctor. The doctor has put a bandage on it and then the king asked the doctor, “Is it going to be okay?” The doctor replied, “Good, bad… who knows?” In the next few days, it became infected. The king asked the doctor again, “Is it going to be okay?” The doctor replied, “Good, bad.. who knows?” After a few weeks, the wound became more infected and the king’s finger has to be amputated. The king got angry at the doctor and he had put him in the dungeon. One day, the king went out again to the forest and he was trapped by a tribe. They tied him on a tree and started doing their ritual as they were about to sacrifice the king to their God. But when they were about to kill him, someone shouted… “Stop! We cannot sacrifice him to our God. He is not perfect. He only got nine fingers.” They had let go of the king and when the king went back to their kingdom, he let his doctor out of the dungeon and said, “Forgive me. I shouldn’t have became angry at you. If my finger hasn’t been amputated, I should have been dead by now.” The doctor replied with joy, “No, don’t be sorry. I am actually happy and blessed that you have put me in this dungeon. Because if you did not put me here, I would have gone to the forest with you and they might have killed me as a sacrifice to their God because I got ten fingers.”

Many times, we always blame someone else whenever we get hurt. We ask God why it has to happen to us even though we don’t deserve it. But God knows what He is doing. In Jeremiah 1:5 Jesus said  that He has written our life story long before we were born. Even if it is unexpected to us, it has never been unexpected to Him. As cliche’ as it sounds, everything happens for a reason. It is not because you are stupid and you make bad decisions in life. No matter how much you overthink before making a decision, you will still be put on a very hard situation. Whoever tells you that your decisions are the reasons why you are down in the dumps, never believe their words. The truth is, people who are good at telling nasty things to someone and those who are good at being mean are the people who are not happy in their current state that they want others to experience it as well. Those people who always put the blame to someone else and are not able to see their flaws are the people who will find it hard to grow maturely because they think highly of themselves. Don’t be like them. Whatever happens to your life, never put the blame to someone else. The truth is, unpleasant things happen because God is preparing your heart. God knows that you have to undergo those kind of circumstances for you to become who He wants you to be. We are all a work in progress. We just have to trust God’s plan for our life. Everything is beautiful in God’s perfect time.