Love And Happiness

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I often wonder how people fall in love easily. I don’t know if I would feel better or I’ll get envy knowing that I don’t do the same.

I used to be in love. They said, love will make you happy. It will inspire you and it will make you want to wake up everyday because the reality is better than your dream. Love makes your face look happy and your eyes alive.

But I don’t know if it was the right kind of love that I felt. Cause I felt the opposite. I was crying, I was sad, I felt insecure and pressured. It was some kind of emotional pain that I held on for too long thinking that maybe, it was just a phase. Some people believe that love is being willing to go through hell with the person. But, is that really the right kind of love? If you are with the right person, will there be a chance for the two of you be in a hellish situation or a hellish kind of feeling?

I don’t think so. Being with the right person should make your loads feel lighter when you are with them. Being with the right person should make you feel a little bit better when you are weak. Both of you may experience some predicaments, but having them by your side makes you feel strong.

I don’t know. I don’t have the answer to the question as to why I don’t fall in love easily. Maybe I’m afraid, or maybe I lost hope.

All I know is that love will come to you at the right time. You don’t need to force it. You don’t need to pretend that you have it just to cover up the pain of the past because it will just get worse. Love and happiness is like intelligence. You don’t need to tell everyone that you have it because if you do, it will automatically show.

Choices- Why Does it Matter? 

1.) DOING WHAT IS WRONG IS EASY,  DOING WHAT IS RIGHT WILL ALWAYS BE DIFFICULT

A lot of people would rather choose to do the wrong things.  Why would we even care about doing what is right when everyone is doing what’s wrong? When someone wrongs you, holding a grudge and taking revenge at them is the easiest, forgiving them is the hardest. The reason why the world is full of malignity is because everyone is choosing to do what’s wrong. Everyone is following the crowd. No one dares to take a stand and choose the road less traveled because they are afraid of being alone. When someone is doing the wrong thing, they’re clearing their conscience with the thought of knowing someone or other people who is doing the same thing. But the question is, “Did it make their life easier? Did it make their conscience pure? Were they able to live a good life?” The result will always matter. I honestly think that it would be better to do the right things even if it’s hard and end up with a better result rather than doing the wrong things which is easy, but the resolution is temporary.

 

2.) TRUST IN HIM

When you’ve lost something or someone, better things are on the way. Trust God in everything. He wants you to let go of what you currently have because He prepares something better for you. Let go of what is making you sad or hurt because that’s not what He wants and you don’t deserve it. Often times, we question His purpose and we ask Him why. But sooner, we’ll get the picture of it. Let go of what is in your hand because so long as you are not letting it go, you won’t be able to receive His blessing. Let go of what isn’t helping your soul smile and grow. Once you got the courage to let go, you will realize that you really did not lose something. He always has something better for you and everything works according to His plan.

– For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)

3.) LOOK AT THE POSITIVE SIDE

Someone once told me when I was in deep pain that there is something good about pain, it defines strength. I believe it’s true. You’ll never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only option you’ve got. Experience is the best teacher in life. It teaches you the things that you are refusing to learn. You’ll keep on experiencing it over and over again until you get to learn the things that you have to learn.

4.) HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE

The people who still can smile and laugh amidst the predicaments they’re facing are not hypocrite. They just chose to be happy and trust God with the result. Often times in prayer, people tell Him their burdens and afterwards they choose to worry about it. When you cast all your burdens upon Him, He will give you rest. Worrying is a sign of not having enough faith and trust that whatever you are facing will end up with a good result. The end will always justify the mean. You may not see it clearly yet but if you trust God with the result, worrying won’t be in your element.

5.) YOU WILL GROW OLD

When you are already old, you will spend your whole life looking back and reminiscing. And when you look back, whatever you are doing now will either be something that will make you smile or regret for the rest of your life. Did you live in selfishness or in generosity? Did you live in truth or lie? Were you the reason for someone’s happiness or distress? Did you abandon or help someone? Are you the reason for someone to live or the reason why someone died? Did you save a dying person or did you kill someone? Your choices matter and everything else matters. Maybe not today but you can never escape. Everything becomes wear and tear. After all, the moment that you die and leave this earth, you can never bring your wealth, your friends and family can’t accompany you anymore. You have nothing else with you but your soul alone.

Love and Closure

Sometimes closure arrives years later. Long after you stopped searching for it. You’re just sitting there, laughing this laugh that is unapologetically yours. As it trails off, the corners of your mouth hugs your face and it hits you, “I’m happy”. It’s just like that. With no fanfare or epiphany. Suddenly you are grateful for goodbyes that carried you to this moment; to the space you are now holding.

Though I understand why we get stuck sometimes. Hearts are stubborn. They sink their hooks into bad habits that look like people and dreams. But look at how much we give of ourselves. Our most precious gifts handed over to another who may, or may not value them as much as we do. Have you ever heard someone fall asleep? Or watched someone break down? There’s so few people in this world that you can share breakfast at midnight with, or that can completely forgive you. The people that get you to believe it’s actually all worth it, and don’t flinch when you look them in the eyes, never waver, and make a bed more comfortable. So when you find them, you, in a way, find yourself. And when you lose them, you, in a way, lose yourself. But know this: you will always be too much for anyone not enough. Somewhere out there is someone who’ll bring pieces of you home. And you’ll realize that losing everything is the only way to figure out what’s worth finding.

Because love isn’t easy and problem free. Everyone has a difficult past and scars in their heart. Just like how love is as beautiful as the sunrise, it is also as painful as the sunset.

When You Can’t Move On From Someone Who Hurt You

Do you really want to go back to the person who has hurt you and left you? Do you really want to stay in a relationship that is making you feel unworthy? 

Sometimes, we are blinded by the overwhelming feeling that we have for someone that makes us overlook our current reality. We tend to create a character of the person we love in our mind even though we know that they are not really like that.

I was supposed have this article entitled, “When You Can’t Move On” But I have added the lines -From Someone Who Hurt You. The reason why is because there are two reasons why people can’t move on. First, it is because the person has been deeply hurt. And the second is because the person has hurt someone so much and they can’t find a way to remove the guilt out of their heart. Both are actually hard, but it is harder to move on when you are the one who is carrying the guilt. You might have been hurt in the past but staying stuck on it won’t heal you. You can’t expect your wounds to heal if you are not willing to have it mended. You can’t expect your wounds to heal if you are expecting that it can be fixed by the person who hurt you. 

Physically, if we get hurt from something, we turn away and we try not to get close to that thing again. This is how we should respond emotionally too. But this is really hard and I am not an exemption. I know how hard it is. But as a life’s lesson, we’ll keep on experiencing the same thing over and over again until we learn from it. Moving on is not really easy but if you have been crying for so many times more than being happy, then you have to ask yourself, do you want to be stuck in the past or the present moment when the only possibility is that you will get hurt and cry? Or do you want to move on and let go of your pain and welcome the hundred possibilities in life? 

There is no guarantee that if you move on and let go, you will never get hurt again. But there is a guarantee that if you move on, there will be a hundred possibilities of being happy and free. You may gey hurt for one more time, but at least you have already taken the first step in moving on, you can stand up, move forward and keep on going with the hundred possibilities.

When You Think Life is Unfair

As of this writing, I am 25 years old and turning 26 on the 21st of April. I am single and a mother of a one year old child. Everytime I get to meet new friends and colleagues, they would always tell me in awe that life is so unfair because my body and face doesn’t show that I am already a mother. 

I always get surprised hearing the phrase, “Life is so unfair.” And hearing everyone tell me that I am so lucky to have maintained my body shape after the pregnancy because if they only knew what I had gone through, they wouldn’t want to be in my shoe. I strongly believe that we are all a product of our experiences. Sometimes, we think that other people are having it easy and we tend to get jealous at them thinking that maybe we could be happier if we were them. But the truth is, everyone is struggling and everyone is carrying a baggage just like you do. We just carry different baggages in life and it just depends on how you want to carry those baggages, how long do you want to carry them and when are you willing to put them down.

The truth is, everyone in the world gets hurt. Nobody has it easy and the world is not obliged to protect you from pain. But you have to move on and you have to choose to love and forgive. Because if you don’t, it’s more like choosing not to live anymore. No one is obliged to make you happy and no one is liable for your unhappiness either. Our happiness and unhappiness are the result of our choices. If you choose to stay in a toxic relationship which makes you unhappy, it is not your partner’s fault why you are unhappy. It is a result of your choice to stay on it. If you are happy inlove with someone, it is not the person who is making you happy. It is a result of your choice to keep the person in your life that is making you happy. Everything we feel and everything we have is a result of our choices. Life is never easy and we can never have a perfect life. Nobody has a perfect life, nobody is perfect and nobody is perfectly happy in all aspects of their life. Happiness is a choice even though you know that life isn’t perfect. Yes, it isn’t easy as ABC to forgive someone and put down the baggages. Yes, sorry can never erase everything you’ve gone through especially if you didn’t only get hurt. It is so hard to forgive when your life has been messed up and your dreams had crushed down because of what happened. But sometimes we have to realize that it might have happened because of what someone did, but you had the choice if you are going to let them do it to you. You have to let go of the baggages that are pulling you backwards. You have to forgive and continue to love. Continue to love someone else who deserves your love. Yet you still have a choice to let someone who did you wrong

 to stay in your life after all the mishaps and if they make your life miserable again, never put the blame on them. Because you have a choice not to let them in.

We have to realize that most of our pain are self-inflicted. The truth is, life is simple. It is our choices that are making it complicated.

When Everything Seems Wrong

One day there was a king who got his finger wounded while he was out in the forest with his private doctor. The doctor has put a bandage on it and then the king asked the doctor, “Is it going to be okay?” The doctor replied, “Good, bad… who knows?” In the next few days, it became infected. The king asked the doctor again, “Is it going to be okay?” The doctor replied, “Good, bad.. who knows?” After a few weeks, the wound became more infected and the king’s finger has to be amputated. The king got angry at the doctor and he had put him in the dungeon. One day, the king went out again to the forest and he was trapped by a tribe. They tied him on a tree and started doing their ritual as they were about to sacrifice the king to their God. But when they were about to kill him, someone shouted… “Stop! We cannot sacrifice him to our God. He is not perfect. He only got nine fingers.” They had let go of the king and when the king went back to their kingdom, he let his doctor out of the dungeon and said, “Forgive me. I shouldn’t have became angry at you. If my finger hasn’t been amputated, I should have been dead by now.” The doctor replied with joy, “No, don’t be sorry. I am actually happy and blessed that you have put me in this dungeon. Because if you did not put me here, I would have gone to the forest with you and they might have killed me as a sacrifice to their God because I got ten fingers.”

Many times, we always blame someone else whenever we get hurt. We ask God why it has to happen to us even though we don’t deserve it. But God knows what He is doing. In Jeremiah 1:5 Jesus said  that He has written our life story long before we were born. Even if it is unexpected to us, it has never been unexpected to Him. As cliche’ as it sounds, everything happens for a reason. It is not because you are stupid and you make bad decisions in life. No matter how much you overthink before making a decision, you will still be put on a very hard situation. Whoever tells you that your decisions are the reasons why you are down in the dumps, never believe their words. The truth is, people who are good at telling nasty things to someone and those who are good at being mean are the people who are not happy in their current state that they want others to experience it as well. Those people who always put the blame to someone else and are not able to see their flaws are the people who will find it hard to grow maturely because they think highly of themselves. Don’t be like them. Whatever happens to your life, never put the blame to someone else. The truth is, unpleasant things happen because God is preparing your heart. God knows that you have to undergo those kind of circumstances for you to become who He wants you to be. We are all a work in progress. We just have to trust God’s plan for our life. Everything is beautiful in God’s perfect time.