Perfectly Imperfect

Live-and-Learn

If you know me personally, you already know that I am a person who don’t normally open up to other people. I don’t often let my guard down.

Most people find me weird because they can barely read what’s running on my mind. I make weird decisions. I don’t want to settle with things and people just because it fits the society’s norm. Perhaps, people see me as someone who has been broken, and I can’t stop people from judging the cracks in my life. I am somehow thankful to God for He has beautifully made me whole again and it doesn’t matter if people can see it or not.

I am a very sensitive person, I’d like to think that with all those experiences, I have already grown a thick skin. But sometimes, I can’t keep myself from getting hurt. Words burn me when it comes from a loved one or a friend. It burns me when the few people I trust to get inside my circle turn out to be the people who would destroy me in the end.

I also overthink, I hate commotion even though I sometimes respond in a sassy way. I just don’t want to appear weak or someone who needs to be taken care of or someone who can’t stand up for herself. So I tend to end up masquerading how I truly feel. That is why my friends who know me so well often tease me that the game I know how to play the best is “Taguan ng Feelings” or hiding my feelings in English.

Earlier I asked God, what does He wants me to learn today? What is He teaching me?

And with all the overwhelming emotions that I have bottled up inside me, I found an answer and God’s message with my devotion today.

When God inhabits the imperfect and broken pieces in our lives, the healing hope of His power is often more visible to others. Yes, His repair work in our hearts often leaves the scars of cracks. But those lines from our learning are the etchings in our beings that should make His character more visible to others.

I am not perfect and will never be. My brokenness and scars will forever smudge in my life. But then I realized, life is too short and if Grim Reaper comes, am I prepared? Nobody can tell how long are we going to live or when are we going to die, therefore we have to live our lives as if it’s our last. Hence, death is something that we shouldn’t fear because that’s where we find the essence of life.

So today I pray that God would show His power as I share the treasure of His gospel in my broken, but beautiful life.

The Cure for the Pain is in the Pain

Hello, it’s been a while. Today, I want to write about the cure for our pain. 

In order for our wound to be healed, we need to undergo the pain of the being pricked. We need to bear with the stinging pain of the ointments but we normally refuse. It’s because we know it will hurt us more. Even though we know that it is the only remedy for our pain.

Emotionally, we often love our wound more than thinking of loving ourselves. And don’t you think it’s funny how we find ourselves loving the person who hurt us more than we love ourselves? So, we end up bearing all the pain that we feel because of them, and we end up staying stuck in a situation that is so painful just because we don’t want to let them go.

However, as days go by, we get used to the pain that it already makes us numb. We thought it’s normal because we got used to it. So, we just let things be the way they are although we know that there’s something wrong. 

The truth is, we won’t realize how poorly someone is treating us until we meet someone who treats us the way we should be treated. That’s when we realize that we shouldn’t allow people to treat us poorly just because we love them. 

We tend to hold on to the pain just because we already got used to it. Taking the bitter pill or that stinging needle of injection for us to be cured may hurt a little more, b

ut would you rather choose a lifetime kind of pain or the temporary kind of pain? Would you rather suffer for the rest of your life or take the risk of feeling the unfamiliar kind of pain that leads you to your healing?