Single and Happy

We live in a world where in being alone seems like a curse. People would think that you are lonely just because you don’t have a  romantic partner. We live in a world where in it seems like your happiness depends on the validation of the people around you. A world where people think you are lonely and pitiful just because you’re single. 
Sometimes I think that maybe I am eccentric or crazy or weird (Well, I really am). I’ve been in love and have been in a relationship. And to compare, I can say that being in a relationship is far worse than being single. I am not saying that everyone who are in a relationship are miserable. And not everyone who are single are lonely either. I believe, it is always a case to case basis. 
I just can’t fathom why people associate the word lonely with single people. I really don’t understand. Because when we were young, our child instinct would always give us an idea as to how we could be happy and enjoy life with the little things around us. We don’t think about romance or having a significant other so that we can be happy. Because as a child, our natural state is being happy. 
When we wake up in the morning, we are excited to pile up and play. We enjoy the simplicity of life. But as we grow old, the society slowly convinces us that happiness comes from other people. That we aren’t worthy if the person we love doesn’t loves us back. The society convinces us that we can’t be alone because we’ll become lonely if we do. 
Do you remember the last time when you are happy and that happiness didn’t come from other person? You are happy just because you do and there is no reason behind it. You are happy just because you choose to be happy whether you are loved by the people around you or not. When was the last time when you are happy just because it comes naturally? Just because you know that Jesus loves you and your life is a gift from Him. Just because you are thankful. Just because you know that everyday is another chance to be a blessing and be blessed by everyone around you.

When You’re Forcing Love to Stay Alive, It isn’t Love Anymore.

Sometimes love is ugly, challenging, frustrating, painful – even in the happiest and strongest of relationships. Love takes work. It takes effort. Love is not always light and pretty. It takes the ability to admit when you’re wrong. It takes dedication, it takes loyalty.

But there is a difference between fighting for something that you know is too good to let go of, and clinging on to something that has already died.

Often, deep down, we already know when it’s not love anymore. What it is is familiarity, routine, insurance. It’s something we’ve gotten used to. It’s a security blanket. It’s the guarantee that we aren’t alone. Sometimes the death of love is easier to sense, if we’re with someone who directly makes us incredibly unhappy. And sometimes it’s harder to admit to ourselves, because we’re with someone whom we care about deeply, even if we’re no longer in love with them. But no matter the specific circumstances, we try to convince ourselves that the love is still there, because we’re not ready for the alternative.

And so we grasp onto it, no matter how much our gut resists, because we’d rather cling to something that is dead than willingly step into a world where we are hurt and alone.

It’s not a fault really, not a flaw. Just human nature. It is in our bones to want to be with other people. To feel instantly comforted from the touch or the assurance of another human being. To feel actual, physical pain when we stretch out in bed and are once again reminded that there is no longer a warm body in the place next to us.

But we must remember that there is a difference between forcing love and fighting for it. Forcing love – forcing yourself to feel something – is not love at all. It’s a manufactured emotion your body has created as a coping mechanism, a survival instinct. Forcing love means it’s already dead. And when you spend all your time forcing yourself to love someone, you miss the opportunity to fight for the person who really sets your soul on fire. The choice isn’t easy, but at least it’s yours.

Every Scar Tells A Story

Every scar tells a story.
Wounds hurt but scars tell a story. 
When you’re wounded, you don’t let people touch it because it hurts. 
So you cringe and pull back. 
But scars, you usually tell your friends about it’s story and you’re not afraid to show it or allow them to touch it because it no longer hurts. 
A scar is a reminder that after a painful experience, nothing will ever be the same and the lesson will forever smudge with you. 
What is your story to tell? 

Are you still afraid?

Or are you no longer afraid to show it?

Beauty in Brokenness

Isn’t it ironic to realize that being broken is actually the best thing that ever happened to you? Because it made you realize that you’ve been lying to yourself. When you feel being used and lied to.. You ignore it and you tell yourself that it isn’t true which in the end would lead you to being emotionally and physically drained. Being broken makes you realize that it is very important to always be honest with yourself. That feeling you have when you think that something is really wrong or something is really right.. it is our intuition telling us that when we listen to our heart and mind, we should always treat them with equal respect and recognition. Being honest with yourself is so important in business and career as it is in love and relationship. It is so hard to lie to yourself.

While the truth isn’t always fun, most of the time it is actually painful but I believe that being true to yourself is the only way for you to create, inspire, innovate, be empowered and achieve the greatness that our world desperately needs.

Sometimes Asking The Right Question is the Answer

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?

If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?

If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?

Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?

How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?

Why are you, you?

Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?

Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?

Is it possible to know the truth without challenging it first?

If not now, then when?

If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?

Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?

When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?

What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

Decisions are being made right now.  The question is:  Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?

When Someone Tries To Hurt You Emotionally

You’re not worthy, your life is a mess, you can never pull through, nobody loves you, you’re dumb, you’re useless, etc.

For others, it’s their way of showing their anger towards you and they don’t see the weight of the words that they said. They may even think that you really deserve to hear those words. 

Some people won’t acknowledge your emotional wounds. Why? Because they are not visible. They are not aware as to how severe the wound is and how excruciating the pain is. Some people are so good at hurting someone else’s feelings and they don’t feel guilty at all because they never know how emotional pain hurts and they never know how worse it is than a physical pain.

Some people are so good at hurting you emotionally and would tell everyone that you are just being sensitive. 

It’s all because they can never see the wound that they have inflicted. I guess they’ll never understand the pain that they caused. 

Truth is, physical pain is easier to mend than an emotional pain because it’s visible and you know how severe it is. While emotional pain can always be hidden and can always go unnoticed. 

This is not a perfect world and I am not perfect either. That is why I learned that you always have to choose your words because you’ll never know how much pain it could cause. It may not impact you, you may feel vindicated because you have accomplished hurting someone with the words that you have said. 

Even if the words are true, the person may never look at you the same way again. You may be living a good life but you will never be loved and respected the same way ever again.